Shawn Achor and many other positive psychology gurus say: Happiness comes before success. I would even argue happiness is success.
So where is happiness coming from? Sometimes it is pretty straight forward. The sun is shining, we just received a big compliment or a wonderful hug. But there are also moments where it is a lot more complex. Moments where we could easily be unhappy. Because things aren’t quite turning out the way we want to.
Those are the moments that I find most intriguing.
So yesterday my mom called me up and told me my video is dull. It just isn’t going to get anyone excited. Ough. That was not particularly nice to hear. But it’s true. It’s probably not exactly a masterpiece.
And she did not just say it once, she said it several times :-) Ough, Ough, Ough. It’s not that easy to take criticism. At least not for me. Yet, I wasn’t devasted. Not at all, actually. I attribute that to two different realizations:
- Mastery takes time. Martin Luther King did not get up and decided that today, he was going to do the speech he was going to write history with. He had probably done his speech hundreds of times before. It takes a lot of persistence to be truly good at something. I think that is very important to remember.
- Surround yourself with the right people. Those that dare to give you honest feedback. But watch out. There is an important nuance. They don’t just say “This is not good enough”, they say, “I know, you can do better than that”. They push you because they know you better than yourself. Your friends (and family) are often your best mirror.
So today is another day. And it’s going to be a good day. Another day to learn and grow. And perhaps make another video. Or just eat an ice cream :-)
