Last Sunday, I got up, everyone was still sound asleep, it was very cold in our trailer, I turned on the heater, took a warm blanket and for more than an hour, just sat there. Thinking about the meaning of life, this blog, my goals, what to write next and what I’m doing here in the first place.
What am I trying to achieve? Yesterday I came across a sentence that struck me: “There’s something cathartic about writing just for the sake of writing.” It’s true. Through writing, I’ve become more aware, more resilient, happier and kinder. I’ve always been a positive person but the type of awareness of the last months – perhaps I’d call it a certain depth – wasn’t as present before.
So on a personal level, starting this blog has been a success. Taking a critical look at my blogging ambitions, though, I can’t say I’ve made tremendous progress.
- Get the world to feel embraced
- Become famous
- Change the world (in any kind of rank order :-))
Now you may say these goals are slightly insane to start with. But isn’t being crazy – if not completely nuts – necessary to make a change to the world?
Rumi has been quoted to say: ‘Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.’
But what if you want to go beyond? If you want to ignite? If you want to change more than just yourself. It brought me back to my post with those seven graphs. Particularly the one which has the inner circle between “What do I have to offer” & “What does the world need.”
I still haven’t figured that one out. What does the world need from me? Lately, I’ve read so many books and articles, sometimes I get the feeling, it is all there already. There isn’t a question that doesn’t already have a well-written answer. All over I find successful people and organizations that offer their help on every single life issue I can think of.
If every question has an answer already, then why are so many people searching? It feels that way. It seems a tremendous amount of people is searching. Including myself. But what are they searching for? What am I searching for? And if that is not clear, do we risk, not realizing, we might have found it already?
Here I sit, staring at my screen, words still want to be written, the story in my head isn’t yet finished. It feels as if, I’ve only just started.
And it takes me a moment to realize that’s ok. Life is marvellous as it is. I won’t spoil that. New thoughts and ideas will come, new adventures are already on the way, new roads will be travelled, new people will be met and at some point, I’ll find the key, to what the world needs from me.
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou.
Christina says
I definitely agree about what writing does for yourself. That is a bit the same for me. When it comes to the goals for the blog I would review your progress as I think you are seeing this too negatively. You have an audience already,you are growing a network of new people to talk to and learn from them and they from you. That is a lot of progress already – just compare with before you started it all.
I find it also a bit difficult to read too much. I don’t mean fiction really but how-to books with life advice or even philosophical books (last ones are sure worthwhile to read but the dose is relevant) . There is a red line between being inspired and being overwhelmed and blocked by other people’s thoughts and it is quite crucial to stay on the inspired side. If it gets too much – take a break and just be yourself.
I have a friend – who is very different from you so that is not matching advice but just an anecdote – who has a HUGE how-to book library about how to live healthy (with hilariously contradicting advice in them), how to make money, how to be in general successful, how to make your relationships work … everything. He has so much that he forgets living. I told him, lots of other friends told him. He did not stop yet – seems addictive.
I am not sure I ever thought about what the world needs from me. I am pretty busy with trying to be happy. That sounds selfish, but if the people around me are unhappy / in trouble I am worried. So taking care / trying to take of the ones around me is an important part of my own happiness. If everyone would just do that, the world would be a much better place. That again is essentially not too far from your goal about the embrace and changing the world. So kind of the little things are not so different from the big things, they are part of it and achievement already.
Enjoy the sea :)
titia.maas@web.de says
Thank you, Tina! Between all the reading and writing I’ve just truly enjoyed living in the moment. Doing whatever felt right at that very minute. As you suggested at times this felt a little bit selfish and yet it did not. But that loud ambition at the start of my blog has become more modest. It hasn’t vanished. I still want to do something beyond just writing up my story. Until then my motto is: “Just be kind” & I aim to live up to those words every day.
As for the sea, we’re back home now . . . and the kids are getting teenager rooms. No more pink Lillifee furniture, no more castles on the wall, no more captain sharky. Learning again how to put together IKEA furniture :) Time to take a deep breathe now and then and drink a mindful cup of tea . . . #Life is good!